I tend to offer advice to my friends whether they want it or not. Occasionally (okay, maybe more than occasionally), I hear back from them, “You should take your own advice.” Well, I’m going to follow that wise advice about taking my own advice, and I’m going to take my own advice…about living a deliberate life and finding my vision or what’s truly important to me for my life.
I’ve been going through a lot of emotional turmoil over the past few months. I have been stuck in a rut and couldn’t seem to get out. I believe I was trying to get out by taking on new stuff, thinking that I was bored and, therefore, in that dreaded rut. But instead I needed to stop, sit still for a while, and quietly think deliberately about what I was doing, which was actually digging the rut deeper and deeper and deeper because I was taking on more and more and more.
The answer for me is not to take on more; the answer is to simplify, do less variety, but make what I choose to do of more quality and of more importance to myself.
So, there I was with this great epiphany, and now the trick is to decide what of all the stuff that I had used to clutter up my time, energy, and life was of true value and importance to me. I started by making a list of everything I was doing, but then I’m a list maker. The starting place may be different for you. But the point is to somehow deliberately and honestly determine the personal importance of each, individual piece of life-clutter. To sort out the most important tasks that must be done to sustain myself, I asked this question about each item on the list…”Will my physical well-being be harmed if I don’t do this task?”
WOW! What a wake-up call! Only 2 items on that list of 8-plus items, received an affirmative response to that question. Just in case you’re wondering, the 2 items were “Perform well at my job” and “Maintain a healthy diet and exercise plan.”
The next question that I asked about the remaining items on the list was, “Will my level of happiness be increased if I do this task?” For all of us with “control issues,” this can be a dangerous question to ask, but be honest with yourself about what true happiness is to you. Again, many tasks fell by the wayside with one task rising to the top…“Stay connected to my network of close friends and family.”
So now the top three things on my “most important to do” list are to perform well at my job, maintain a healthy diet and exercise plan, and stay connected to my network of close friends and family…with maintaining a healthy diet and exercise plan (with the goal of losing weight and getting healthy again) being top priority. When I achieve and successfully incorporate my top priority as a way of life, I can re-evaluate things again and determine what else can be added to my “most important” list of goals or things to do.
And my “most important” list is likely different from yours. The point is to clear the clutter and determine what are your top three goals/tasks/items on your own “most important” list. This doesn’t mean that clutter won’t wiggle its way into the list, but I for one must be vigilant to ensure that I remain focused on my “most important” list and not be distracted by the clutter and fluff that tries to monopolize my energy and attention, no matter how exciting it may look temporarily. I will achieve success and greater happiness if I can identify what “success” and “happiness” means to me and remain focused only on activities that directly help me achieve them.
So, I put it to you to look closely at what’s on your “To Do” list and determine what on that list furthers your pursuit of “success” and “happiness,” however you define them. Then, if an item on your list doesn’t pass your success and/or happiness criteria…seriously consider dropping it off your list at least for now. You can, and perhaps should, always revisit your list as you meet a goal or your “success” and “happiness” definitions change.